Why former Royal Andrew was the very antithesis of sophistication - Christa Ackroyd

On paper at least, though why that immediately sprang to mind I am not quite sure.

Although I think we should remember her character Holly Golightly had, shall we say, a transactional approach to the wealthy men she dated, hardly the epitome of sophistication now or then.

Over the years I have come to realise I couldn’t be sophisticated if I tried. Nor do I want to be.

Yes, I have eaten at the most sophisticated places the world over including Heston Blumenthal’s Fat Duck in Bray (Three Michelin stars) where seated at the next table was supermodel Naomi Campbell who didn’t seem to be eating very much at all, whereas I tucked into every course including snail porridge and bacon and egg ice cream with Yorkshire gusto.

I have been invited to the poshest of places, Buckingham Palace being one.

My chief Homeless Street Angel and I were dressed to the nines and just about passed muster among the great and the good I think, though on the way we nearly took two cyclists out with our hat boxes and caused a major incident on the tube as mine was flung off my head by the whoosh and was chased down the platform with the words “catch that hat” ringing out to startled passengers.

We may have looked the part when we got there, but how we got there was another matter.

The Chelsea Flower Show is great for ideas but too pricey for most of us when there are local gardens centres down the road or better still allotment sales where at least you know the plants will survive the harshest of Northern winters.

I have travelled the world over and am a better person for it.

I have only recently had afternoon tea in one of the the grandest hotels in the world – The Peninsular in Hong Kong – where it was £25 for a cuppa and a cake and I enjoyed every minute mouthful, but the £3 hot dog eaten on the streets of Copenhagen takes some beating as does the 50 pence street food sampled in Vietnam.

Or indeed a bag of chips eaten in the fresh air in Whitby – with scraps on of course.

I have been to the casinos of Monte Carlo and played dominoes down the local pub, which was infinitely more fun. And less costly. I have stayed in some of the best hotels.

The Shangrila in Singapore, The Waldorf in New York and the Connaught in London but to tell you the truth I have had more fun in a B and B in Scotland, a log cabin in New Zealand or spent a night on the sofa at a friend’s house after a great party and I am far too Yorkshire to now consider spending hundreds of pounds on a room when all you do is sleep in it, even if it does have a butler in a cupboard down the corridor.

I have met the poshest of people, been to the opera in a church in the Italian town where Puccini was born and paid more money than made sense to see my singing hero Barbra Streisand at the O2 in London almost 20 years ago (and it was worth every penny) but have had just as much enjoyment belting out show tunes with my late great friend Kathy whenever the opportunity arose – and sometimes when it did not.

I have bought clothes I am not ashamed to say have cost hundreds of pounds (many of which are still in my wardrobe dragged out to the infrequent posh dos I still get invited to) but often bought in the sales or second hand.

I have a young beautiful horse in training but drive a six year old car, hoping both which will last me out as modes of transport until I can do neither any more.

But all of the above, all the wondrous people I have interviewed from Kissinger to Prime Ministers, Royalty to superstars does not make me sophisticated.

It makes me lucky and I hope interested in everything and anyone. You know what they say. You can take the girl out of Bradford but you can’t take Bradford out of the girl.

And why would I want it to? Proud of my roots and now finally secure enough to know who I am and that is no way remotely near sophisticated.

I am far too clumsy for that, no matter what frock I am wearing or where I find myself.

So why this week’s obsession with sophistication. Because Andrew – formerly known as Prince – when mummy pressed for him to get a job as a trade envoy – now among other things the subject of both police and public scrutiny – was said to prefer to visit “more sophisticated countries.”

And that had me, as my granny would say, spitting feathers. Of course I should and must say here that Andrew Mountbatten Windsor denies any wrong doing.

But if it were snobbery he is accused of then that request made on his behalf before taking up the role appears to have been proven.

Hang on a minute, isn’t the Royal family there to serve all people and therefore all nations?

Indeed some of the commonwealth countries they still purport to represent are among the poorest in the world, including Malawi, The Gambia and Sierra Leone.

Even those countries globally now said to be finding their feet economically and I think the phrase is represent ‘emerging markets’ such as India and Bangladesh and indeed Vietnam still suffer from pockets of extreme poverty, or did Andrew only intend to gloss over the poor bits which could do with a bit of a trade boost and visit only the posh parts of town.

Oh, and don’t forget not to invite him to play golf as that is only a hobby the memo suggested – and he wouldn’t like to do it in public.

A preferred ballet to the theatre, poor lamb, which means he has probably missed out on some pretty great nights out from Les Mis to Pinter to hundreds more I have been lucky enough to see, but yes ballet is fine too if that is your bag, but is a pretty narrow interpretation of the wonders of seeing something live and in person on stages across the world.

As you can tell I am pretty angry. In my life I have met the best and the brightest of people from the humblest of backgrounds.

Entrepreneurs who started in their garages or spare rooms, took a risk and reaped the rewards. Indeed the King’s Trust run so admirably by Andrew’s brother is based on that very theory that if we give everyone a chance they too can fly.

And that to know a country is to see all it has to offer, not just the best bits.

But no, the suggestion it seems is that this time the ‘trade envoy’ who by his own admission had very little knowledge about business, really only wanted to swan around at the finest of places.

Well that in my book is the very antithesis of sophistication.

It is all top show. And let us remember whether one is swathed in ermine or a hand crafted suit, it is never a good look.