Why I’ll be laying an extra place at Christmas lunch for an elderly neighbour tomorrow - Andrew Vine
Though he has a close and loving family, it’s their turn to travel around the country visiting in-laws and delivering presents – a familiar scenario for so many people at this time of year – so he’s stuck.
And though he insisted he’d be fine by himself, a bunch of us who live nearby didn’t really believe him. So he’s four doors down for dinner this evening and three doors up for Boxing Day before his family return.
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Hide AdIt will be a pleasure to have him around. He’s wonderful company, chatty and cheerful, as fit as a fiddle for somebody nearing 90 and all of us at the table – and the others along our street – are looking forward to a neighbour we’ve all known quite casually for years becoming a real friend over a meal.


It’s going to be a traditional Christmas Day, just as it will be in countless Yorkshire homes – a walk in the morning to blow the cobwebs off, lunch, pull the crackers, get the paper hats on and then all in front of the telly at 3pm to watch the King, after which the usual array of friends, relatives and neighbours will most likely drop in.
We’ll all enjoy the festivities, and so, I very much hope, will our new guest, but persuading him to join in wasn’t easy for any of us hosting him, simply because he’s a proud man who said he was perfectly content to spend a quiet few days on his own.
I think he felt embarrassed about admitting he faced a solitary Christmas, even with frequent phone calls from his family, and for our part we all worried about poking our noses into his business.
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Hide AdWe cracked it by getting his son on side and now he’s looking forward to it, reassured that he’s not a nuisance to anybody and that we all genuinely welcome his company at the table.
And I think there are a lot like this dignified and independent gentleman among older people who may be dreading a lonely Christmas, but would not dream of admitting it.
They don’t want to feel they are being a burden, and above all cannot abide the thought of being an object of pity for others.
But pity doesn’t enter into reaching out a hand, especially at this time of year.
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Hide AdIt’s about neighbourliness and good will. And, thank goodness, there’s still plenty of that in communities across this county of ours.
The three of us entertaining him were far from the only ones to offer.
Our guest had a dozen invitations for dinner today, tomorrow and the day after when word spread he was on his own and the people on the street where I live are no different from anywhere else in Yorkshire.
We’re the most hospitable of counties and the kindest, too. You can see that in the number of people in community or faith groups who devote their Christmas to helping others, whether putting on a meal or making sure they have somewhere warm to go.
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Hide AdBut even so, there are going to be a lot of people on their own over the next few days, especially those in their later years, widowed like my neighbour, with family perhaps far away, or few friends any more because so many have died.
According to Age UK, a million older people feel more isolated at Christmas than at any other time of the year.
Being surrounded by loved ones, which so many of us take for granted, is something they once knew, but time has taken that away and its loss is especially hard to bear.
The move online for so much of our lives has only increased older people’s sense of loneliness. It has resulted in a loss of everyday contact as shops have shut and so many services are provided by faceless call centres.
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Hide AdMy friend laments the loss of the friendly supermarket cashiers who used to chat as they scanned his shopping.
Instead, there are just a few harassed staff with no time to spare, pointing customers towards the self-service checkouts.
We all need to do more to reach out to older people, not only at Christmas, but throughout the year, to stop and have a natter, pop round to say hello and ask if there’s anything we can help with, and invite them into our homes for a cuppa or a bite to eat.
There’s still time to do that and make this Christmas more cheerful for someone alone in a silent home and wishing someone else was there. The more of us who do, the better the festive season we’ll all have.
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