Why Harry needs to keep his promise to the Queen and take his children to see her - Christa Ackroyd

I am sure many of you will remember the parable of the Prodigal Son from Sunday school days.

It was my favourite, although I always felt rather sorry for the older brother who stayed loyal but didn’t get the fatted calf for a celebration in his honour.

Not that I knew what a fatted calf was...but it sounded like quite a bash.

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For those of you who never completed their Bible studies, let me paraphrase the ending.

Prince Harry (left) talking to JJ Chalmers during the Invictus Games 2016 at ESPN Wide World of Sports in Orlando, Florida.Prince Harry (left) talking to JJ Chalmers during the Invictus Games 2016 at ESPN Wide World of Sports in Orlando, Florida.
Prince Harry (left) talking to JJ Chalmers during the Invictus Games 2016 at ESPN Wide World of Sports in Orlando, Florida.

The son who stayed turned to his father and said: “But why didn’t I get the party, Dad?”

To which his father replied: “Because your brother was lost and now he is found and that’s worth celebrating.”

Good story, valuable lesson and an entirely appropriate way to start a column about Prince Harry’s brief but much-publicised visit to see his grandmother this week.

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So here is my advice to him. You can either swallow your pride, Harry, and keep your promise to bring your children to see great-granny before it’s too late or continue the argument that life’s not fair and everyone is being rather mean. The choice is yours but if you don’t make the right one you will regret it for the rest of your days.

I am not going to join in the general condemnation and over-analysis of the former prince’s rather strange statement that he just wanted to see the Queen “protected” and surrounded by the right people, because I get it.

The Queen, God bless her, is an elderly lady who has recently had Covid and is still not very well.

She has in the last year or so lost her husband and two of her closest friends, a beloved partner and two women who have been with her through the decades and her constant companions through thick and thin.

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She must feel strangely alone – or at least surrounded by strangers.

The women may have had rather odd titles, like Lady of the Bedchamber or Mistress of the Robes but above all they were trusted companions and confidantes who, like her beloved Philip, could be relied upon to support and protect her in her often-arduous role, not just as head of the country but head of a fractured family.

Now she is without them. And it is quite likely she has to rely on new people, even nurses, to see her safe and well. And if she is anything like my mum, who was born just a month before her, that will have hit her hard as an independent woman used to being in command – in her case, quite literally.

I am also prepared to believe that Prince Charles himself may have even made the request for Harry to make a detour from the Invictus Games to see the Queen, to persuade her to have a rest and let others help.

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I know that was a difficult conversation I had with my mum in her 90s and I also called in my brother to persuade her it was for the best.

And it is. A quiet time to recuperate, away from prying eyes at Sandringham, is just what the doctor no doubt ordered for our Queen and I am certain Harry’s visit with his wife will have bucked her up no end.

But now he has to follow through and be there for her for the rest of her days and that means attending her Platinum Jubilee and introducing her to the great grandchild she has never seen, Lilibet, who is named in her honour.

So honour her, Harry, as most of the country do, because sometimes this is not all about you.

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This week the Queen celebrated her 96th birthday and I am betting her best present was seeing Harry, the prodigal son.

But his mealy-mouthed interview, where he dodged the question about also missing his father and his brother, was unforgivable. Why give with one hand and take with another? And as for that book, if he truly loves and respects Granny he had better think very carefully about what he chooses to say.

This week his visit could have been just the tonic she needed as she prepares to recuperate in Sandringham in time for the June celebrations.

But no. In an interview which could have been full of wonder and gratitude for the time he spent with her, he pulled the focus back to him and his arguments about his damn security arrangements. Let us be honest. Prince Harry and his family probably are a target and they do need security.

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But security they would get if they swallowed their pride and made it to

the Royal celebrations. Because they would be with people who have it automatically. But no, that’s not good enough. They want their own or to bring their own. And so it goes on.

This week the most magnificent photograph of the Queen with her magnificent white horses should have been her crowning glory, along with that glorious white hair, which my mother was always rather envious about.

Instead her birthday was tarnished by a grandson who should count himself lucky to still have her and should make amends while he can. Because he can never have that time back again.

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As for the equally odd comments that he feels his mother is with him, that he believes she has guided William and now it’s his time – get a grip.

No mother should have to choose between their children. It isn’t an either or. And if she were here she would be mortified, I am sure, at having to navigate their fallout.

The former prince has talked himself into a corner. And it’s time he stopped talking altogether. If he wants to leave the Royal Family and give up his Royal duties so be it. It’s his choice.

But the one thing you learn as you get older and wiser is to leave your family behind leads to a lonely, unfulfilled life. And causes pain and hurt to those who don’t deserve it and who one day won’t be there to welcome you back into the fold.