PMQs: New term, same old curriculum

The key question on every eager pupils’ tongue was whether the leaked plans setting out a possible future immigration policy were anything close to the Government’s current thinking.

But rather than wade into a political minefield, the teachers opted to stick to safer territory. The topics on this week’s agenda? The same as every other week since June: broken manifesto pledges, the public sector pay cap and Labour’s ‘spend, spend, spend’ philosophy.

It was a copy and paste job that would land most school children in detention – and it met with a predictable lack of enthusiasm from the classroom. Even the deputy head, Philip Hammond, couldn’t stifle a yawn.

As usual, it fell to the substitute to shake things up a bit, as the SNP leader Ian Blackford urged the PM to “stop dancing to the tune of her right wing backbenchers” and apologise for the “disgraceful” treatment her Government has shown to migrants. Meanwhile, one of Labour’s most promising contenders for Head Girl, Luciana Berger, launched a passionate attack on the Government’s failure to drive up standards and provision in mental health care.

In fairness, Corbyn appears to have done away with his old habit of restricting himself to a single issue, but he and May nevertheless spent the best part of 12 minutes talking past eachother. With only one more PMQs before Parliament goes back into recess for conference season, these two have a lot of homework to do if these two want to improve their grades.