County Championship now under threat from Rob Key’s ‘incoherent’ plan for fewer games - Chris Waters

But I’m damned if I’m going to let the opportunity pass my bat, as it were.

Why, it was a classic example of what is wrong with English cricket at present and why Key is unlikely to be the right key to open the door to the change so sorely needed.

When he was appointed in April (strangely enough, not on the first day of that month), I remember writing that Key would be unlikely to make a jot of difference to a broken system and that the England and Wales Cricket Board might just as well have appointed the American singer/songwriter Alicia Keys instead, but I am happy to admit that I got that totally wrong.

For it turns out that Key is actually likely to make things even worse than they already are, to judge by remarks made on the inaugural edition of The Vaughny and Tuffers Cricket Club, a new podcast by the Daily Telegraph.

For the benefit of those who didn’t listen to the show, or hear about it later, Key said: “I would have 10 games of Championship cricket.

“I think you’ve basically added in a month of the season with a competition (The Hundred) so you’ve added in a month’s worth of cricket, so you’ve got to lose a month’s worth of cricket.

“So you have 14 games, you go down to 10 games and you end up with 10 high-quality games.”

Perhaps it’s just me, but of all the comments I have heard emanating from the mouth of an ECB employee over the years, those might just be the most stupid and incoherent.

In other words, on the planet that Rob Key inhabits, the solution, having added into a schedule that was already heaving beyond belief a competition which 90 per cent of cricket fans did not want (The Hundred), is to take out a month’s worth of cricket from a competition that cricket fans do want (the Championship) to make room in the calendar.

I’m not sure how much Key is being paid (I’m guessing that the number might have a few noughts on the end), but the logic is so flawed and faulty that it’s enough to make a cat laugh.

With English cricket currently conducting its latest high-performance review into woes that even a five-year-old could identify and fix (don’t you just hate the term “high-performance”, by the way), it’s a fair bet that a 10-game Championship is as good as guaranteed.

Key also wants 12 sides in Division One and, presumably, the other six counties in Division Two.

And this, we are told, is the cure for all ills.

I ask you...

Just a few random objections, Mr Key, if I may be so bold.

First, where is the evidence that a 10-game Championship would actually raise standards to the desired level?

Surely our players need to be playing more first-class cricket to prepare for Test matches, not less of it, unless we are seriously to suppose that all the top players – including England’s centrally contracted stars – are to magically become available to help raise those standards in the Championship going forward.

No?

Thought not...

Why, we are lucky if they play one or two games per season as it is, with so much international/franchise cricket taking place, so how exactly is it going to become a higher quality competition?

Reducing the number of matches from 14 to 10 might help in theory, enabling more time for rest and practice, but surely you should be looking at when the competition is played – mostly at the start and end of the season, which helps no one – before cutting the fixtures.

Second, what would be the impact on outgrounds such as Scarborough, which stages two of Yorkshire’s home Championship games per season?

If there were only 10 games per side, and therefore only five home games, something would have to give between Headingley and Scarborough in Yorkshire’s case, and I think we know which it would be (clue, it would be the venue that starts with the letter “S” and ends with the letter “h”).

The principle “less is more” is certainly a good one, not least when sports editors are drawing up pages for their journalists to fill, but we need less hit-and-giggle cricket such as The Hundred as opposed to more of it, a greater priority on the first-class game.

In fact, the obvious solution is staring Mr Key and the ECB in the face if only they would see it - scrap The Hundred.

I’ll say it again, SCRAP THE HUNDRED!

Or, if we do have to have it, keep it for the women’s game.

In the meantime, and on second thoughts, does anyone have a contact number for Alicia Keys?