Dom Bess and Kuldeep Yadav put Yorkshire CCC in charge against Essex

Relegation scraps… the threat of a points deduction hanging over Leicestershire… Chasing Glory, Yorkshire’s ten‑year plan to turn the club and Headingley into “the best in the world”… demutualisation proposals…

Will any of it really matter in the grand scheme of things?

If Mr Hubinger is right, we may not be around for very long at all. Perhaps the only sensible response is to sit back, relax and — as Lord Hawke would surely have said were he still with us — “take a chill pill”.

Of course, if the apocalypse is coming, you’d still rather be in Division One than Two when it arrives — if only for posterity’s sake.

Leicestershire’s predicament — stemming from a poor pitch prepared for a fixture last month — is all too real, and any points deduction would likely confirm the survival of both Yorkshire and Essex.

Still, better not to leave anything to chance before the robots take charge.

There’s a match to be won at Headingley this week. And, at the halfway stage, Yorkshire are having comfortably the best of it, scoring 390 in their first innings before Essex reached 137-7 in reply.

This contest felt finely poised at the start of day two — like a weather vane waiting for the wind to tell it which way to turn. Yorkshire were 241‑6, with George Hill on 24 and Dom Bess on six. A total of 104 overs were slated to be bowled, eight added on after Tuesday’s rain.

Conditions were thankfully more pleasant than on Tuesday: sunny, a touch warmer, and the crowd a little larger, with most spectators gravitating toward the North East Stand to soak up the rays. They saw Bess twice find the boundary in the day’s first over — Zaman Akhter neatly cut behind square and then edged to third man in front of The Howard Stand.

Yorkshire added 25 in 10 overs before the new ball was taken, the breakthrough coming at the end of the first hour. Hill drove a return catch to Shane Snater, ending a fine innings of 40 from 135 deliveries — the all‑rounder disappointed not to have gone on to more substantial things.

Already depleted by seven absentees through injury and international call‑ups, Essex’s cause grew tougher when seamer Jamie Porter pulled up and was forced from the field. On a brighter note, fellow seamer Sam Cook was subbed into the match having been overlooked for England’s Test against Pakistan at Edgbaston. Cook replaced Mitchell Killeen, who was then subbed straight back in again to replace the stricken Porter. If that sounds baffling, rest assured: AI would have replaced all 22 players with holograms by now.

Hill and Bess added a useful 48, then Bess and Kuldeep Yadav raised the bar with a stand of 83. The spinners had been surplus to requirements with the ball in seaming conditions at Surrey last week, but here they proved their worth with bat in hand. Bess was his usual inventive self, improvised shots behind the wicket complementing classical drives and defence, while Yadav is clearly no mug, as they say. The Indian played one particularly memorable shot, advancing to leg‑spinner Matt Critchley and driving him to the cover boundary with a flourish so regal it should really have been accompanied by a fanfare and a military parade.

Bess reached fifty from 100 balls, and Yorkshire lunched on a healthy 335‑7, having added 94 in the session in 32 overs. They went on to take three batting bonus points before Yadav advanced once too often to Critchley and hit back a return. He scored 36 from 94 balls and occupied the crease for almost two hours.

Bess deserved a century but had to be content with his highest score of the season as Ben Cliff lofted Critchley to a back‑peddling Killeen at mid‑on, before Jack White was trapped lbw next ball. Bess finished with 80 from 137 balls with eight fours, and Critchley 5‑85.

Essex’s reply was rocked by Yadav, who struck three times in his first four overs from The Howard Stand end. Paul Walter was lbw pushing forward, Tom Westley bowled by one that held its line, then Charlie Allison pinned lbw on the back leg having lofted the previous delivery for six.

When Critchley drove at Hill in the next over, missed and was lbw, Essex were 32-4. Dean Elgar and Luc Benkenstein rallied for an hour before Bess trapped both lbw in successive overs, later having Shane Snater play on off his back pad. It should have been 128-8, but White dropped a dolly in the penultimate over when Akhter reverse-swept Yadav.