The Ashes verdict: Time to ‘Head’ to the 19th hole after shell-shocked England blown away in Perth
YOU could say that it was golf that caught up with England in the end.
Had Usman Khawaja’s back not flared up after 18 holes on the eve of the match, which may or may not have contributed to the Australian suffering spasms that prevented him from opening the batting again on Saturday, Travis Head would not have been promoted to open instead and one of the great Ashes hundreds might not been played.
All ifs, buts and maybes as the inquests continue, but ironic given England’s penchant for the fairways.
After they were blown away by eight wickets inside two days in Perth, Ben Stokes and his men might have been better off heading to the 19th hole to drown their sorrows, let alone seeking some extra game-time – cricket, that is – before the second Test in Brisbane on December 4.
Head hammered the second-fastest Ashes hundred – from 69 balls – on one of the most chastening days that English cricket has known, given that they were 65-1 just after lunch in their second innings earlier in the day (105 ahead) before collapsing to 164 all-out.
It was scant consolation to recall that Head once played for Yorkshire, back in 2016, as most of the good ‘uns do, tha knows.
What an innings it was by the moustachioed left-hander, a whirlwind of scintillating strokeplay as his 123 from 83 deliveries, with four sixes and 16 fours, led Australia to a target of 205 – the highest total of the match – in just 28.2 overs.
Ouch.
Not that Head walked away with the “Player of the Match” award, which went instead to Mitchell Starc (another former Yorkie, of course), whose 3-55 added to a first innings bag of 7-58.
Who said that it’s a batsman’s game?
Probably the same bloke – or blokes – who reckoned that England would win the Ashes.
It will be hard now, it almost goes without saying, if hardly impossible given that England held the upper hand at the Optus Stadium before another poor batting display allowed Australia back in.
Both sides showed enough flaws in the less than 40 per cent of scheduled cricket to suggest that there will be more violent twists and turns in this series along the way, following the first two-day Ashes finish since 1921.
It’s the hope that kills you, as the saying goes, and it’s what killed England and their fans after the tourists started day two with a lead of 49 and just one more first innings wicket to take.
It duly came when Nathan Lyon was caught in the gully as Brydon Carse finished with 3-45, and after poor Zak Crawley fell for a pair – brilliantly caught by Starc in his follow through, diving to his left – it was all going well for England when they lunched on 59-1, 99 in front, with Ben Duckett on 28 and Ollie Pope 24.
Eight balls into the afternoon, Duckett was gone, squared-up by a good delivery from Scott Boland and caught at second slip.
Then came the key passage of play as England lost 3-0 in six balls to slide to 76-5, Pope, Harry Brook and Joe Root all culpable in their dismissals.
Pope flashed hard at Boland and was caught behind; Brook edged the same bowler to first slip with no foot movement, and Root dragged on to Starc as he tried to hit the ball through the offside.
When Stokes edged a good delivery from Starc to second slip and Jamie Smith was caught down the leg-side off Brendan Doggett, the top-seven were gone and England were indebted to an eight-wicket stand of 50 between Gus Atkinson and Carse that frustrated the hosts.
It ended when Carse stepped across his stumps to try to hit Doggett through the leg-side and was caught behind, Jofra Archer then pulling Doggett to deep mid-wicket and the innings ending when Atkinson skied Boland to long-leg to depart for the top score of 37.
England were all-out in 34.4 overs, and had batted for just 67.3 overs in the course of the match – not even enough time for Australia to have taken a theoretical second new ball in the two innings combined.
Still 205 had the air of a nuisance target, especially given the way that England had bowled on the previous evening, when they inflicted psychological as well as physical blows as their five-pronged pace attack bailed out the batsmen.
Not this time.
The bowlers were unable to reprise those efforts – hardly assisted by the lack of rest as the game moved on at warp speed – and an opening stand of 75 inside 12 overs between Head and Jake Weatherald set the tone, the latter following his first innings duck on debut with a morale-boosting innings before skying Carse to cover.
Head, who contrived some impossible looking angles with his bat at times, and Marnus Labuschagne shared 117 for the second-wicket in 15.2 overs before Head was caught by Pope at deep mid-wicket off Carse, the winning line within sight.
After Labuschagne reached his half-century from 49 balls with a leg-side six off Root that levelled the scores, it was left to stand-in skipper Steve Smith to score the winning runs, with Pat Cummins set to reclaim the armband in Brisbane.
Defeat suggested the “has-beens”, as Stokes put it, may well have been right when they flagged-up concerns regarding England’s lack of preparation going into the series.
It consisted of only one warm-up match – and, of course, a spot of golf.