Andrew Lloyd Webber hits the right note with tribute to brilliant Jackie Weaver: Anthony Clavane

Last Sunday’s Sheridan Smith TV special celebrating all things musical theatre whetted my appetite. Elaine Paige, Michael Ball, Amanda Holden. What’s not to like?

Then I saw, on social media, that the legendary composer had written a new song, featuring the lyric: “Jackie Weaver, Britain’s answer to the American dream.” Inspiring stuff.

Lloyd Webber, who teamed up with the singer Carrie Hope Fletcher to perform this tribute to the internet’s latest star, has been very busy during the pandemic.

Not so long ago, the 72-year-old “got down with the kids” when he posted a 10-second clip of Phantom of the Opera mashed up with Cardi B and Megan Thee Stallion’s single WAP. He even did a bit of dad dancing, calling it...drum roll...Phantom of the WAPera.

It was all a bit David Brent, but at least the good Lord has a sense of humour. Another reason to warm to him and his oeuvre.

Everything I have written so far is true. Apart from the title of his new song. It is not called ‘Jackie Weaver, Superstar’. But it is a homage to the feminist icon who this week entered the nation’s hearts and souls.

For those of you who have been on another planet this past seven days, a video of Our Jackie’s Zoom council meeting went viral. Not any old council meeting, mind. It was the planning committee of the Handforth Parish Council.

As various incandescent, red-faced men ranted and raved, Our Jackie calmly, if a little wearily, imposed order on proceedings. At various points, she let her fingers do the talking, booting the incandescent, red-faced men out of the call despite their protests.

As a cub reporter on a regional newspaper I used to cover such meetings – when they were in-the-flesh rather than virtual experiences. They could get quite lively, of course, but never descended into the power grabbing, backstabbing, egotistical, toxic struggles in Handforth.

That gathering was like The Vicar of Dibley meets The Godfather. With a bit of Shakespeare and Game of Thrones thrown in for good measure. Like Lloyd Webber, Jackie Weaver is my new heroine.

No wonder he was inspired to write a new song for her. Following in the footsteps of Eva Peron, T.S. Eliot and Jeeves...The Woman Who Kicks Men Off Zoom Calls.

No wonder she has inspired mugs, T-shirts and even cakes emblazoned with her features and the now famous quote “You have no authority here Jackie Weaver” (the words of a councillor just before being kicked off).

No wonder the recording of the meeting has inspired both the Left and Right to celebrate a grey-haired, middle-aged woman’s heroic stand against society’s toxic forces.

“Some day, there will surely be a statue to Jackie Weaver,” predicted The Guardian’s Gaby Hinsliff. To Sarah Vine in the Daily Mail: “She represents every woman who has ever had to deal with the impotent fury of petty men.”

TV star Richard Osman tweeted: “Am busily writing Jackie Weaver into the next Thursday Murder Club novel.” She is a natural wit. When the media invaded her rural retreat she “kept thinking the neighbours would think we’d murdered someone”.

Rejecting a call to meet the Prime Minister she explained: “I’m not sure meeting Boris Johnson would change the world for either of us. I would be horribly tempted to smooth his hair down.”

Asked who should play her in a movie, she named Helen Mirren. But she should reject the glamour of the West End, Hollywood and Netflix.

In every interview with her since she became a “celebrity”, she has displayed evidence of a dry, down-to-earth, Alan Bennett-esque sense of humour.

To me she is the perfect candidate for a new Talking Heads monologue.

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