'How I found happiness by embracing my facial differences' - Yorkshire man with Treacher Collins Syndrome on his new book

“I’d got into this routine and habit of not looking at my face,” says the 38-year-old. “That was a coping strategy for me. Just don't look.”

Jono was born with Treacher Collins Syndrome, a congenital condition affecting the bones and tissues in the face. At only two-weeks-old, he found himself in foster care. As he grew up in Featherstone, West Yorkshire, he struggled to accept his facial differences, finding it increasingly hard in his teenage years to love his appearance and feel like he ‘fitted in’.

Jono credits his relationships with “kind and open-hearted people” – from his adopted mother Jean to school friends, girlfriends and strangers – with helping him to find the inner strength and resilience to become what he describes as his own hero.

Now, he has written a book – Not All Heroes Wear Capes – to share his story of how he found happiness, self-love and self-acceptance by embracing his differences.

Reflecting on the impact of his mother Jean, he says: “She is this incredible human being and her and her family gave me a forever family and the best foundation for me to live my best life. She never shied away from a conversation however difficult it was…I’m very lucky to have her.”

“I’ve always had this incredible mum and I always had my friends, amazing sports coaches and amazing teachers,” he adds. “But as I grew up, I became very within myself.

"Even though I had amazing people in my life, I became very alone and became obsessed with my appearance and how I would fit in in this world looking the way I did, despite all the love in my life. It really got difficult.”

For Jono, the mirror moment was a big turning point. He was just out of his teens and had got himself a job as a fitness instructor. Each evening, he would put away the free weights, trying to avoid seeing his face in the gigantic mirror in front of him.

"I’m obsessed with trainers so this day I was looking at my trainers that I’d just bought and thinking they were nice. I looked at my legs and I’ve always liked my little sparrow legs and I checked my butt out, worked up to my chest, which I’d just trained. I was on a roll.

"Normally I stopped at my shoulders. But this day I looked at my face and I saw my blue eyes and I’d not seen my face, my blue eyes, for such a long time. It sounds like such a small thing but I found myself smiling, grinning at myself.

"As a child I used to push my eyes up when I looked in the mirror. And here I was as a 21-year-old staring at my face and grinning like a Cheshire cat. That was massive.”

Around the same time, he was working at a bar in Wakefield city centre and was growing in confidence. “I grew up and found myself in that place,” he reflects. “That was definitely a lightbulb experience.

“There was a time when I used to walk down the street and if I heard somebody talking, I assumed that they were talking about me. If I saw somebody looking my way, I assumed they were looking at me because I’m different. If I heard somebody laughing, they were laughing about me and I’d be so tense.

"I’d be looking at the floor going from A to B as quickly as I could...Somewhere down the line, my shoulders have become relaxed and I’ve been able to look up and smile at passers by.”

Around 15 years ago, Jono had the opportunity to share his story in a national magazine and starred in BBC documentary Love Me, Love My Face. Soon, people were reaching out to share how his experiences had struck a chord. Jono began delivering inspirational talks in schools, as well as travelling around the world to meet families with children also born with facial differences.

In 2017, he co-founded the Love Me Love My Face foundation, a charity which raises awareness and funds for individuals and families living with Treacher Collins Syndrome and other craniofacial conditions. His memoir has been “an idea, a dream, a goal for a long, long time”, he says. “It’s a way I can get my thoughts and message out there to places where I can’t go.”

Jono quit his job in the care sector to focus on writing. “It’s definitely been a journey, rediscovering parts of me I’d forgotten about or bottled up and trying to unpick those,” he says. “I had to be very kind to myself during the process. If I wrote something very heavy, the following day I’d feel very delicate."

Recording the audiobook was emotional too. “I’ve been doing work on my inner child, especially around rejection and abandonment,” Jono says. "My inner child went with me to record my audiobook. I sat in the chair in the studio and read my book for two days. Having my inner child listening to all our traumas, all our healing and growth, the friendships we’ve made, the things we’ve attracted was such a healing moment.”

"I’m sharing my story and my thoughts but I really want the reader to be able to go away with some tools they can potentially use too,” he explains. “I want them to look at things they can potentially explore within themselves and for them to find acceptance, self-love and ultimately be the biggest hero in their own lives.”

Not All Heroes Wear Capes, by Jono Lancaster, and published by Happy Place Books, is out today.