Importance of new dads taking parental leave: Tom Stenner-Evans
We’re still a long way from achieving genuine gender equity at work, and one of the biggest barriers to getting there arises when couples have children.
For many women, parenthood becomes a significant career attrition point. They are more likely to take extended periods of leave, reduce their hours or step back from career opportunities. At the same time, many also continue to carry the lion’s share of family and household responsibilities alongside their work.
The long-term impact on progression, pay and representation in senior leadership can therefore be substantial. When men take shared parental leave, they help to redistribute some of that responsibility.
It gives women the option to return to work sooner if they choose, reduces the extent to which their careers are interrupted and helps to challenge the outdated assumption that childcare is primarily a mother’s responsibility.
Shared parental leave is also one of the clearest examples of positive, gender-equal role modelling.
As children grow older, they notice who was there and who was present. They absorb ideas about work, care and equality from what they see their parents modelling at home. A father taking time away from work to care for his child sends a powerful message that parenting is a shared responsibility.
There is also a practical point that is often overlooked. In many families, shared parental leave can make financial sense. Depending on employers’ enhanced leave policies and the relative earnings of each parent, couples can sometimes structure leave in a way that is more financially advantageous than they might assume.
Unfortunately, shared parental leave can be complicated, which can deter people from exploring it properly, but HR teams should be well placed to explain the available options and entitlements.
There is, of course, still a cultural barrier in some workplaces. Some employers or managers may have predetermined views about men taking extended time away from work for family leave, and fathers may worry about how it will be perceived or what impact it could have on their career.
But if an employer genuinely regards a man taking time off to care for his child as a lack of commitment, it is worth asking whether that is really the kind of organisation you want to build your career with.
Employers who value people properly should recognise that being a committed parent and being ambitious at work are not mutually exclusive.
Most importantly, though, shared parental leave gives fathers time with their children that can never be recreated later. Having the opportunity to bond with a new child, to learn the rhythms of family life and to be present during a period that passes remarkably quickly is a real privilege. I took more than six months of shared parental leave myself and loved every moment of it, even if it did happen to coincide with the start of Covid!
I’ve worked alongside many senior lawyers over the years, and I’ve heard a remarkably consistent theme when they reflect on their careers. Very few wish they had spent more time in the office but many wish they had spent more time with their children when they were young.
Our jobs matter. But careers are long and childhood is short. If, as a father, you have the opportunity to take shared parental leave, do it. Your career will continue, but your child will only ever be that age once.
Tom Stenner-Evans is a solicitor at Thrive Law specialising in employment law