How lockdown literally tore down fences for Yorkshire neighbours

When Michael Mawhinney and Johnny Latham, both 32, moved into their new house last November they were told by the older couple who lived there before that the neighbours tended to keep to themselves.

For the friendly couple who did not know many people in the area, this was a shame but they did not dwell too much on it.

Mr Latham said: “I commuted to and from Liverpool, so I didn't have much time here in York to really get to know [the neighbours].”

Mr Latham works as a trainee psychologist and his partner, Mr Mawhinney, is a matron at York Hospital.

“Mike has also been busy with hospital so meeting people is quite difficult if the other person isn't really proactive.”

However, the couple soon found that their neighbour Melissa Talago, 47, who lived next door with her two teenage sons was exactly that “proactive” person, as, when the couple suggested she pop in for a chat, she did.

“I think that's what makes the difference actually when people don't just take these invitations as pleasantries but actually take a risk, have a bit of courage and say hello because really, we're all looking for friendship aren't we?” Mr Latham said.

Ms Talago, who has lived in her house for just over a year now, got to know Mr Latham and Mr Mawhinney a little bit but it wasn’t until lockdown that they became friends.

Ms Talago said: “I think probably week one, we decided to both climb onto our respective garage roofs so we could have a chat and a glass of wine and be socially distanced.

“And we realised actually sitting on a roof with a glass of wine wasn't that intelligent, because we wouldn’t be able to get down,” she laughed.

The neighbours decided to take a fence panel down between the two gardens, so they were able to spend time together.

She said: “We were living almost like roommates. We had separate houses and separate gardens but we had a gap in between.

“If I got up in the morning, and was going outside to have a cup of coffee or whatever, you know, Michael might have been sitting outside having an early morning cigarette or having a cup of coffee or something and then we would have a chat through the gap in the fence.”

What had been a chat or a connection every couple of weeks became daily as lockdown continued.

The two families have shared meals, having a table in between the two houses that they can swap food while social distancing, and have spent lots of time talking.

But it was not just Ms Talago who started to get on well with the neighbours, her sons who are 16 and 14, began to chat more regularly to them too and have come out of their shell a bit more.

Ms Talago said: “I think for me, had I been on my own just exclusively throughout this it would have completely been horrible but, because I've had these guys next door, it's just been lovely.”

As a result of going the extra mile, Ms Talago has become closer with her neighbours on the other side of her house too.

She said: “We chat over the fence a lot more and they will check in with me, so for example if I'm quiet for a week because I'm busy they'll send a message and say, ‘Is everything alright? We haven't seen you for a while,’ so there's a lot more of that.”

One memorable evening, the neighbours had a garden party in their own separate gardens and sang along to music to lift their spirits, with other neighbours on the street joining in too. They also had a VE Day celebration on the street among a group of neighbours - socially distanced, of course.

Mr Latham and Mr Mawhinney are keen bakers and have been distributing baked goods to Ms Talago’s family and other houses in the street.

Ms Talago said, though she has a group of female friends to talk to, it is always interesting to get her neighbours’ perspectives, especially now they have become very close friends.

“I've gone through quite a lot. I got divorced and started a new job so we talk a lot about that. I've been doing online dating, we talk about that and we talk about relationships in general.”

Mr Latham said: “If you're having a really tough day and you just don't want to cook, the other person can sometimes read the situation and say ‘oh I'll tell you what, I'll cook something’.”

The neighbours are not alone in getting to know each other more during lockdown.

A fifth of adults in Yorkshire who know their neighbours have spoken to them more in the last few weeks than they did previously, research shows.

The survey by Co-op Insurance found that more than two thirds of people in Yorkshire now know if their neighbours are classed as high risk or not and more than a quarter of homeowners across Yorkshire who know their neighbours have checked in on them in the last few weeks.

For the York neighbours, there is a practical side too. Though neither of them have yet been in a position where they have been able to go away, if they did, they have a deep sense of trust in their neighbour, Mr Latham said.

This is something that the Neighbourhood Watch is trying to nurture, as the organisation says that looking out for neighbours can help keep everyone safe from crime.

John Hayward-Cripps, chief executive, said: “The kind, everyday deeds of neighbours help create safe, secure and happy neighbourhoods where people, families and communities thrive and it’s times like these that communities need to stick together and look out for one another.”

While loneliness is often talked about with regard to elderly people, multiple studies show that younger people suffer from it too and can even be more at risk. But it can only take one person to make the first move for a friendship to blossom.

Mr Latham said: “It's made a massive difference. We were feeling a bit isolated in York, coming here. And I think from Melissa's side of things she was feeling isolated, but you never really want to show it, you always want to smile when you're out on the street.

“We didn’t just want a quick chat every now and then, you know we really wanted to make friends.

“I think being able to be open straight away and sharing each other's lives and sharing journeys that we've been on has been key to connecting really.”

He said it was like being part of a bigger family, particularly as Mr Latham’s family lives in Liverpool, while Mr Mawhinney’s family live in Ireland.

He said: “We’ve been far from our families for a while, and to reestablish family in a community has really made a difference.”

Ms Talago, who is originally from South Africa, agreed: “It’s been great.

“They’ve really given me a sense of community and made somewhere not my home feel like home.”