Woman's brave message to controlling ex-partner as he is jailed for more than three years

Richard Hayles, of Sheffield, was jailed for three years and three months after subjecting his ex-partner to years of abuse.

The 46-year-old, of Greenview Drive in Rochdale, originally pleaded not guilty to engaging in controlling and coercive behaviour, but changed his plea to guilty on August 28.

He was sentenced on September 3, when he was also issued with a 10-year restraining order.

In her statement, his victim said Hayles ‘broke her down’ and left her fearing for her life.

Her statement, issued in full by South Yorkshire Police, said: "This is never how I expected this to end, but if we could go back I wish we had left it at a simple hello.

"I always taught my children to stand up to bullies, but I never stood a chance against you. So they had to watch as you broke me down more and more every day. And that’s why I am stood here today, for them.

"I don’t think I will ever understand why you did all those things to me, especially as I pandered to your every need, loved you and treated you like a king. And I never deserved any of what you did to me. None of it.

“You convinced me that love meant enduring pain and sticking by you no matter what, and it was so much more than what ‘you decided to plead guilty’ for. I think you only did that to regain some control and stop the whole truth coming out.

"You left me fearing for my life on numerous occasions, and I still do now because of the threats you have made. You got me to my very lowest at the end and where I was totally defeated and then you sat with your friend and told me a story of how suicide was the only way out for some people, taunting me.

“I would like to believe that was never intentional or that no one can be that evil but I will never know now.

"I had to survive through each day after the endless lectures, sleep deprived, starving while trying to keep life going for my children and work. Keeping my energy high so that you didn’t get angry for a wrong mood or tone. Just waiting for it to get back good again, all the time being degraded and humiliated.

"I don’t think I ever realised or gave myself credit for how strong I actually am and that is thanks to my children. You controlled every single aspect of my life, even the tiniest things and made me believe it’s just how a woman should be, and that I was lucky to have you.

"I do wonder if you feel any remorse for what you’ve done or genuinely do think you are ‘guilty’. But I am sure you will maintain you had the best intentions and made our lives better; it was far from it. Only a monster would show up and pretend to love someone, and then destroy them in the background.

"You took great pleasure in being in control, having power and taking away our peace so that you could be served and have yours. And as much as you liked to teach me, you were actually our biggest lesson. Who not to be, how not to be, what not to become and what not to accept.

"We’ve got our peace back now; our future looks bright again."

Investigating Officer Carla Davey, who was the officer in charge of this case, added: "Hayles subjected his victim to horrific emotional abuse, convincing her to believe that it was love he was showing her. No one should have to be subjected to this.

"The victim chose to speak at court, showing her true bravely. I hope this sentence allows her and her children to start to move on with their lives."

A charge of assault and two charges of causing unnecessary suffering to a protected animal were dismissed at court.