Mandy Damari, the mother of a woman held hostage by Hamas, is an inspiration - Jayne Dowle
Surely, every mother’s heart must go out to Mandy Damari, who has campaigned ceaselessly for the release of her daughter, Emily, until Sunday, the only British-Israeli citizen still being held by Hamas in Gaza.
Mine certainly does. October 7, 2023, was my own daughter’s 18th birthday. As we prepared for her party that evening, news of the audacious Hamas raids began to filter through on the news alerts on my phone.
As I hung pink streamers and balloons, I had one eye on what was happening in southern Israel, as Hamas paratroopers descended from the desert skies above the Supernova music festival and the surrounding area, and another on my innocent daughter, who the night before had excitedly attended a rave in Sheffield.
I thought too of the Ariana Grande concert in Manchester in 2017, when 22 people were killed by an extremist, and the Bataclan concert in Paris, target of a co-ordinated attack in 2015, in which 130 lost their lives. Why the young?
Only the next day could I process the full horror. Young people, and men, women and children, killed or kidnapped, a terrible, bloody revenge.
Until that date, few of us had much understanding of the politics of this corner of the Middle East. Yet seeing terrified festival-goers fleeing for their lives, one minute enjoying the music and freedom of youth, the next seeing their friends shot, raped and kidnapped, brought the troubles of this part of the world horribly and viscerally home.
Since then, the resulting Hamas/Israeli fighting and bombardment has seen countless thousands more die or suffer terrible injuries. Few mothers, on either side, would celebrate such loss; Mandy Damari, 63, reminds us that a mother’s courage rises over and above the scores of the battlefield.
Finally allowed her freedom during the first phase of the ceasefire deal, Emily, now 28, was shot and abducted from her home after Hamas gunmen stormed the Kfar Aza kibbutz. She was taken along with 37 other residents, bundled into a car and driven away. Injured by shrapnel, Emily lost two fingers on her left hand. She spent the next 15 months living as a captive in tunnels deep underground.
Her mother, who was born in Surrey and grew up in southwest London before moving to Israel after meeting her husband on holiday, fought with dignity behind the scenes and in public for the release of her daughter and other hostages. Starting quietly, writing letters, enlisting support, as the first anniversary of the kidnappings approached, Mandy became more vocal, speaking at rallies as a leading voice in the campaign to ‘bring them home’.
Meeting UK Prime Minister Sir Keir Starmer four times, and urging him to speak her daughter’s name every time the Israeli hostages were mentioned, Mandy travelled to this country, to Geneva in Switzerland and the US to lobby governments and those with the power to negotiate to do more.
But it is the poignant personal details that really hit home. Emily, who played football until she was 12, is a Tottenham Hotspurs fan, it’s reported, and the crowd have chanted to ‘bring Emily home’ at matches. She loves Primark and Cadbury’s chocolate buttons and ‘a proper British Christmas’, her mother has said.
Every morning during Emily’s captivity, Mandy woke up and gave her daughter an imaginary hug.
“Keep strong, keep alive…you’re going to be okay,” she would say in the hope that her daughter would somehow hear her, through the power of the maternal bond. Every mother separated from her child, in whatever circumstances, and of whatever religion or nationality, would say such a silent prayer. We protect them, until we can’t.
Mandy has fought with the support of her family and Emily’s father, but he is said to have early onset Alzheimer’s disease, and did not know his daughter was missing.
In a statement, she thanked everyone who had helped her. But this woman, this mother of four (she has three sons, Emily is her youngest child) has gone it alone.
And she remains selfless. In a statement issued on Monday, Mandy said: “In Emily’s own words, she is the happiest girl in the world; she has her life back.
“In this incredibly happy moment for our family, we must also remember that 94 other hostages still remain. The ceasefire must continue and every last hostage must be returned to their families.”
Amongst the tense armistice and the recriminations, we must never forget that simple human relationships count for much. Nothing is clearer than the love of a mother for her child; to lose that child, whatever age they are, is the most painful of all bereavements. Mandy Damari speaks for all mothers left bereft by war and conflict.