What does it say about our Parliament when new MPs need emergency ‘etiquette’ lessons? - Jayne Dowle

Is it true we get the politicians we deserve? I only ask because it’s reported that new MPs are needing emergency ‘etiquette’ lessons to teach them how to behave in the House of Commons.

Let’s just say that in the name of democracy and widening participation, the latest influx of political ingenues are not all up to speed with the often admittedly arcane practices of the Palace of Westminster.

The crisis has come to a head after one hapless neophyte – named and shamed as former teacher, 42-year-old Steve Witherden, Labour MP for Montgomeryshire and Glyndwr in Wales – was spotted by Tory frontbenchers supping milk from a carton and reported to deputy speaker Nusrat Ghani.

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According to The Mail on Sunday, the ‘Milkgate’ incident led to a quiet rebuke for the Welsh MP and a reminder of the strict 'no food or drink' rules when in the Commons Chamber.

Prime Minister Sir Keir Starmer speaking during Prime Minister's Questions in the House of Commons. PIC: House of Commons/UK Parliament/PA WirePrime Minister Sir Keir Starmer speaking during Prime Minister's Questions in the House of Commons. PIC: House of Commons/UK Parliament/PA Wire
Prime Minister Sir Keir Starmer speaking during Prime Minister's Questions in the House of Commons. PIC: House of Commons/UK Parliament/PA Wire

Mr Witherden – who won his Montgomeryshire and Glyndwr seat in July – was apologetic, saying that he was still learning the rules of Westminster.

Another new Member, as yet unnamed, is reported to have been admonished for walking into the Chamber barefoot. And some poor red-faced soul has been obliged to send a written apology to deputy speaker Caroline Nokes after incorrectly addressing her as ‘Madam Mayor’.

I had to smile at that one. My dad tells a story of his school-days, when one of his classmates was given the honour of announcing the arrival of the Mayor and Mayoress at an event. Despite practising his lines for weeks, on the day the lad fluffed it, and heralded a welcome to “the Lion and Lioness”.

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But this was an 11-year-old schoolboy, not a fully-grown representative of the people. You have to wonder where some of these new boys and girls have been for the rest of their adult lives. Not serving as local councillors, one parliamentary source noted sniffily, who says that the etiquette lessons had come about due to “the sheer volume of new members who don't really understand the rules”.

The source added: “They don't know what to do. Particularly the ones who have never been a [local, county] councillor and not used to talking through a third party.”

Old-timers are pointing out recent gaffes in procedure, such as MPs addressing each other as 'you' instead of the 'Right Honourable', misusing 'points of order' – when an MP appeals to the Speaker that the rules of the House have been broken - and not going through the Speaker when they wish to ask or answer questions. The latter – although it may not always seem that way – exists to minimise clashes between opposing MPs.

Anyone who has ever served on a committee – parent/teacher associations, school governing bodies for example – would surely already know that, or at least be aware of the tradition.

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Whilst Labour leader and PM Sir Keir Starmer is often accused of failing to ‘read the room’, it seems that the same could be said for some of his 402-strong Commons majority. Apologies. Make that 401, as Mike Amesbury, 55, the Right Honourable Member for Runcorn and Helsby in Cheshire, is currently suspended.

When people decide to stand for parliamentary election, do they imagine that their lives, behaviour and standards, including dress, won’t have to change? Or is today’s laissez-faire approach a kind of back-handed arrogance, a ‘take me as you find me’ conceit that challenges historic protocols set down over centuries?

If so, I’m sure I’m not alone in finding it very sad. I was reminded of this watching the Budget coverage last week. Front-benchers were generally very smart, but some of the other MPs looked as if they’d slept in their clothes. It pains me to say it – and I know it shouldn’t matter, but it does – the women looked the worst.

It’s relatively easy for a man to shrug on a smart veneer; all he needs is a dark suit, an ironed shirt and a clean tie. However, there is a place for cleavage and cheap T-shirts, and it isn’t in the House of Commons.

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Some of these women could have just come off a Zoom call working from home. Hardly the message it should be sending as we’re all being encouraged back to the office.

How hard can it be to invest – no donations needed – in a few business-type outfits? Come back Theresa May and those leather trousers and leopard-skin kitten heels. She might have attracted criticism, but at least she looked as if she was bothered.

I’m not advocating a return to the days when both sides of the House were dominated by men (mostly men) in stiff three-piece suits and highly-polished shoes, whose public appearance, polite manners and pedantic grasp of procedure may have hidden a multitude of private sins.

However, it does seem pretty tragic that the ‘Mother of Parliaments’ can’t set a better example to the public it serves.

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