Involving your children to throw out unwanted items sets them up for a tidy life
Summer and the holidays brings its own challenges when children need entertaining and the house can feel very full, but one York mum says this is the best time of the year to get ahead before school returns in September.
Californian-born Cher Casey is a professional organiser and decluttering specialist who moved to the UK 13 years ago. She recently started her new business, The Mindful Organiser, to help busy mums, working professionals, and retirees in the York area. And with summer now in full swing she said it’s perfect to get on top of children’s bedrooms and belongings before they get out of control.
“Kids have loads of stuff. It is one of the biggest wake up calls when you become a parent that all of a sudden the house is not just yours,” said Cher, who is married with one daughter. “The quantity of things that kids bring with them from when they’re tiny, through school, different hobbies it’s a battle because not only do you have more stuff but you have less time.
“I work a lot with families. It comes down to what works best for an individual family but I’m a huge fan of involving kids when you can because it sets up greats ways of thinking about their belongings from a young age.
“One of the fears I see from working with parents is that they don’t want to bring up a child in a cluttered home and pass it on to them. So I think involving them in some capacity – depending on their age – is something I’d definitely recommend.”
Cher, whose daughter aged four will start school in September, is preparing for even more cute paintings and models that will be returned home from the classroom at the end of the year.
She says it is perennial problem for parents: “With something like kids’ artwork it’s so hard because it’s so precious and sweet. One of the things I share with my clients is that it’s about the process for kids rather than the product. If they’re a really creative child then they are constantly making but making is part of their growth.
“You can collect it for the year and then go back over it, take pictures or a video of it and then maybe send some to the grandparents. Some people keep the first and last pieces, I like to keep a couple from the middle as well.
“You can start decluttering with kids at any age. It’s easier when they’re younger and it becomes part of their routine but they need to be taught how to clean. Create systems for them, use boxes for different things and maybe label them with an image so they know soft toys go here, for instance.
“It helps older kids when they declutter because there is less stuff to clean or put away.
“I try to do it with my daughter. I’ll say to her ‘we have a lot of these’ or ‘I’ve not seen you wear these pants’. It’s important to involve them because it teaches them that we probably have more than we need and that when we don’t use something we can pass it on to someone who will use it.”
While most people keep on top of their tidying, for some having a cluttered house is a symptom of a deeper lying issue. Cher works with clients who have suffered from recent traumatic events that are reflected in how their home functions.
“I describe what I do as in between therapy and house-cleaning. It’s not about the stuff, it’s always something that is happening emotionally or some kind of life circumstance,” she said.
“We usually leave the sentimental work for last. Decluttering is like building a muscle, which sounds strange, but the more that you do it and the more comfortable you get in making these decisions the easier it gets with things of sentimental value.
“There is no doubt that there will be things that are really important and special within the things that you have kept. Sometimes when we keep everything from an entire school year you lose the essence of what you want to remember but you feel safe because you have it all.
“It is hard to dive in because you haven’t built that threshold of saying ‘is this important?’ and that’s what decluttering is. It’s figuring out how things factor into your life and what importance they have. How does this object reflect you – it’s a lot deeper than I have a lot of stuff in my house and I want to get rid of it.”
Small steps and taking it slow are Cher’s best advice when dealing with objects that have a sentimental attachment.
“Decluttering for me is never about stuff,” she says. “It’s about someone’s emotions, their habits and their life circumstances. Their homes, in so many ways, are a reflection on themselves.
“If you start with something small like a drawer in your kitchen or a basket of stuff that you’ve never got round to putting away builds up the confidence to tackling something more sentimental.”
While building up her new business is time-consuming Cher, who has a PhD in medieval history of art, is also contemplating translating her academic thesis from English to German.
However, she says, it can wait: “Academic work is amazing you can have an impact there but it is different and it takes a long time. Decluttering is immediate. Within a day I can see the difference it makes to clients as people. It is very fulfilling.
“I did my own house and literally tackled it from top to bottom. It felt amazing and thought this is still one of my passions. What I love about it is that it is so relatable but there is also a direct impact on people.
“I decided to pivot because my background is academic, but I did this back in the States. I’m studying medieval history of art, which is my deep passion that I’m now an expert in. Whereas decluttering and organising is something that everyone wants to talk about."
Find out more at themindfulorganiser.com