GTA6: Grand Theft Auto 6 - the nightmare dilemma that parents face

Yesterday, though, for reasons that I’m quite sure shall remain a mystery to me, something caught the imagination of the drooling masses of trolls on X in a way that no tweet of mine has done for years. If I had a pound for every time someone has now viewed the post, which only went up last night after yet another tough conversation with my 12-year-old son, I’d be a millionaire.

I’m talking about Grand Theft Auto VI. For those of you who aren’t in-the-know when it comes to GTA 6, it is a much-anticipated video game. Perhaps the most highly-anticipated ever. It is a game steeped in chaotic violence, criminal enterprise and depraved sex. As well as casually and indiscriminately killing people, you can rob banks, steal cars, run drugs gangs, interact with prostitutes, evade arrest - the list goes on.

It should be said that to the best of my knowledge, too, because it is an ‘open world’ game, you can also make your way through it as a law-abiding citizen and I’m led to believe there is a mode where pacifism is possible. But where’s the fun in that, eh? And fun it must be because businesses are reporting that since the release date (19th November) of the game was announced, requests for annual leave have spiked because people want to spend the day playing Grand Theft Auto. Sick days are anticipated, too. Rockstar Games, which has a base in Yorkshire (Leeds), has a genuine, gold-plated blockbuster on its hands.

So. My question to people on X? It was this: does anyone else have a child (mine is a 13-year-old boy … he will be soon, anyway) who is relentlessly asking for GTA6? He’s telling us that all of his friends have GTA5 and will be getting GTA6 for Christmas. It’s all they can talk about, he says, and that we, as his parents, by denying him ownership of and access to the game, are unspeakably evil ogres.

The replies? My word, the replies! Bearing in mind what it is that I’m saying no to … his immersion into a virtual world from which we as parents are programmed to protect our children. And here is the crux of my/our dilemma as parents: we’re also programmed to protect him from bullying and teasing and torment. When he tells me he’s going to get ridiculed for not having it, I believe him. Grown adults on X have called me the c-word, a p-word. A wetwipe. From homophobic slurs to insults about me as a father. One person wrote simply: ‘why doesn’t my kid talk to me any more?’ If grown adults are going to round on me like that, I can only imagine what he’ll be up against in the playground.

If I can try to translate the sentiment that I think is emanating from the torrent of abuse it is this: if you trust your son, and he’s got a good head on his shoulders, then allow him access to the game. The bullying and ridicule he will face as a result of being the only 13-year-old kid in the playground without it will be far worse than him being exposed to adult themes that he’s almost certainly well-versed in through sex education, books, movies and his mobile phone (which, yes, has multiple bars, blocks and rules set on it by me). It is a generational game and it is his generation that will derive the most pleasure from playing it.

One of the more articulate responses was this: “You might fancy yourself as dad of the year because of this, but your son will just be left out and watch walk-throughs of it on YouTube. The only thing you’re ‘saving’ him from is feeling included.”

This puts me in a bit of a bind, because I trust him implicitly. He’s a very bright, well-behaved, properly-mannered lad. He has already played the likes of Fortnite, Call of Duty and Battlefield. He knows the difference between make-believe and real-life. Also, when I was 13 I was playing Mortal Kombat, a game where you can literally decapitate and dismember opponents in bloodsoaked rampages, and I turned out OK. In short, it makes me a bit of a hypocrite, doesn’t it?

Hull’s own broadcast titan Michelle Dewberry messaged me (she’s always been very supportive of me, and I appreciate her a lot). She said: “I completely hear you, and the reality is that what you’ve suggested is likely going to happen. I don’t understand why more parents don’t come together and say NO. That is surely the answer here? If more parents align, together, then your collective children are both protected by being the same (ie. no point of difference to be bullied for). If I were you, I’d be approaching my kid’s friends’ parents and seeing if you can achieve that (though I probably wouldn’t be holding my breath). It’s very hard.”

She’s right. It’s super-hard because it breaks my heart to think of him feeling isolated and infantilised by a decision made by me, and it breaks my brain to contemplate saying yes to a video game that is rated 18+ for a reason. Denying him completely also feels like it goes against the grain of who I am as a dad. I’ve always tried to teach him right from wrong and to accompany those lessons with sound rationale that helps him to mature and grow in the hope I’m raising a good boy. Should I, in fact, say yes to him and use it as a teaching moment?

Which brings me to asking you, the thousands of people who subscribe to my newsletter, because you are always supportive and sincere in your feedback to me. So … what would you do in my shoes? Perhaps you’re a parent in the same position that we are. How are you handling it?

I’d love to hear from you.

James

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